Doctor in Training

More to come

2011-04-28T22:23:00.001-07:00

I've decided to start blogging again, mostly for myself. Much has happened in the last year which I need to process. So stay tuned

Internship

2010-08-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to write a very long post on how my internship was. I'm only going to say that it had its ups and downs, I'm glad its over, and I really enjoyed it. Overall I love my job and have no doubt that this is what I was made to do. I didn't kill anyone (that I know of) and helped many people through their diseases. I am becoming more comfortable being called Dr. and am always amazed that people actually consider ME their primary doctor. This next year will have a lot less overnight call and some fun electives. I also get to experience my first block of preventive medicine, something we don't get to do a lot of in the first year but spend increasingly more time in as we move through residency. I think Dietrich and Steve have survived being an intern's widower and orphan :)

Losing a Patient

2009-05-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

Losing a patient is never easy, even if you only talked to them or saw them once. As a medical student I usually don't get very close to my patients. So the ones who have died have been sad but have not impacted me all that much. However, this last March I was on an inpatient medicine rotation and I encountered a patient that left a mark on my heart.

This patient was in the process of being worked up for possible metastatic cancer when she was admitted to the hospital. The ultrasound and CT scan looked suspicious for cancer, but we could not be certain. We spent the next two weeks fluctuating between trying to get the specialists to make a diagnosis and trying to keep her out of the ICU. One day she would be doing okay, awake and able to converse. The next day she would be drowsy, confused and disoriented. She went into kidney failure numerous times. Finally she was transferred to another hospital and I was no longer able to see her everyday. I got to know the family quite well and cared deeply for them. Some family members even attended our church on a Sunday that Steve was preaching. In the end she became comatose and the family decided to withdraw life support. I found this out by calling the ICU at the other hospital, I had planned on going by to visit her later that day.

I really felt that this patient was under my care. I look back on those two weeks at the end of her life and wonder what we, as physicians, could have done to make her time more pleasant or even to extend her time with us. I don't think there really is anything more we could have done, the cancer, of which I still don't know what type, would most likely have taken her life in the end anyways. But I can't help but wonder, what if we had been able to get her home for a few days? Did we control her pain? Did she die in pain wondering why no one would help her? These questions will forever haunt me with no answer.

I will always remember this experience and hopefully it has in some way prepared me for what I will encounter in the future.

The Match

2009-04-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

Match day (the one day where everyone applying to US residencies find out where they have been accepted) was March 19th. It was a nerve racking week as I went through varies scenarios in my head of where I had matched. That morning my mom, Steve and Dietrich were all present as I opened the envelope. I was so overwhelmed with happiness when I saw I got my first choice that I starting crying. It was a very happy day for me and my friends and we went to Disneyland to celebrate. (pictures to follow)
I was accepted the a combined Family and Preventive Medicine residency at Loma Linda. This residency was created 3 years ago with missionary doctors in mind. I will be double board certified in family and preventive medicine and will get my Masters of Public Health. I have the option of getting the MPH in global medicine, which will be very helpful on the mission field. I am very excited about starting residency on June 30th, but I am also scared. It will mean many 80 hr work weeks and many nights spent away from Steve and Dietrich. But I am so excited to be an MD, able to have my own patients and write my own orders and prescriptions. All the hard work and dedication is going to finally pay off. Graduation is just around the corner on May 24th and can hardly wait to be done!

Hurry up and wait

2009-02-05T17:05:00.000-08:00

The whole process of applying to residency consists of hurrying up and waiting. First we have to complete the application, then wait for interviews, then interview, then wait for the rank list to open, then complete the rank list (my top choices for residencies) then wait for THE MATCH (March 19). Then pretend to still be interested in whatever rotation I am currently on after the match when all I can think of is graduation on May 24th.

Each step of the way has had it's worries, joys and frustrations. I will be glad when the process is over, but I think I've learned a lot about myself. I'm very happy to be going into a specialty that cares for all of a patient's problems and I am excited to be someone's "doctor".

More to follow when I find out where I will be for the next 3-4 years!

Fourth Year of Medical School

2008-12-21T23:57:00.000-08:00

Everyone said that the fourth year of med school was the best. I agree! I am currently enjoying 4 weeks of vacation. I have taken some interesting electives like palliative medicine and preventive medicine. I have finally caught up on sleep. I actually have time to take Dietrich to school in the morning and pick him up before the school closes. And I have started reading non medical related books. I know this world will not last forever but I am really enjoying it!

Almost Done

2008-06-30T22:59:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to say that I have one week left before I am officially a fourth year medical student!! I really can't believe I made it through this difficult year, and I'm really looking forward to next year and all the vacation time I will have (12 weeks, in comparison to this year which was only 2 weeks). Finally there is starting to be an end in site! Until I can get back here to post more about how this year has gone, enjoy some recent pics of Dietrich.

Reflections

2007-11-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to go on and on about how long it's been since I've last posted. I'm not sure how many people actually even come to this site anymore since I have been so bad about posting. But here are some reflections on being a third year medical student.

It's hard! Really hard! And even harder when you have an infant. I find myself continuously feeling torn between wanting to be a good mother and wanting to be a good doctor. At one time I thought it was no problem to be both. Now I have my doubts. Sure, I'm an okay Doctor, but I don't find myself putting the time into it that I know I should. I've realized that it's more important to me to be an average Medical Student and raise an exceptional human being than to be an exceptional Medical Student.

How this will impact my future career is not clear to me at this moment. I'm sure I can learn the things I need to in order to pass, that's what I've done so far. But what really confuses me is that I don't love what I'm doing. All I've ever wanted to do my whole life is be a doctor. It's the only career I've ever wanted. Now that I'm seeing patients, involved in their diagnoses and treatment, I'm not in love with it. I find myself wanting to get home as soon as I can to be with my son. And I tend to resent the rotations that keep me away from my son, such as my inpatient internal medicine rotations. I really hated those two months and I can't really pinpoint why that is. The attendings were nice for the most part, my residents were really good, I wasn't treated like a second class citizen, and I had some pretty interesting patients. All it did was require my time, which I believe should be spent with my son not with patients.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking of quitting. I plan to ride it out, hoping with each change of specialty that I will get back that spark that got me here in the first place. And I realize that some of my dissatisfaction comes from the fact that I don't know enough to be proficient at my job, and since we change specialties every few weeks I don't have a chance to really master anything before I'm experiencing something new again. This is the emotional drain of the third year. Always being the new "employee" but never mastering the job. I know as I go through it will get better, but this is not something I was prepared for.

Next week is my last week of psychiatry then I start OB GYN. I'm hoping that I'll feel smarter in this rotation since I have more experience in this area than most of my classmates.

It's all a part of being a medical student/mother/pastor's wife!

Wow, it's been a really long time

2007-09-17T19:59:00.000-07:00

I don't really know what has happened the last few months. Oh yeah, i'm on the hardest rotation of the third year of medical school and I'm exhausted! Well, to recap quickly the last few months:
- I passed my board exam!! Only a few points lower than the national avarage, I got a 209. 184 is a pass. I was hoping for a 195.
- So far I have passed all the requirements for the internal medicine rotation. Only 10 more days to go!!
- Dietrich is almost 1!! we are having two parties for him since he is a PK and all the chruch wants to help us celebrate. Therefore we are having a family/friends party and a church party. They are on Sept 29 and 30. I really didn't want to make a huge deal out of this, but oh well for that idea.
- Dietrich is almost walking. He stands alone and takes a few steps before he realizes what he is doing and falls down. He is clapping, waving bye bye, saying mama and dada and getting into everything!!! and he also really likes to eat my flip flops. and he has 5 teeth.
- Still breast feeding! Dietrich doesn't much care for baby food so i'm still supplementing a lot with breast milk. I really have no plans of when to stop, we'll just have to see how things go.

I think that's the highlights for now. I will try to post more on my experience on internal medicine later.

Some Pictures Just for Fun

2007-06-21T21:51:00.000-07:00

Now for some updates and more pictures!

2007-06-21T21:14:00.000-07:00

The last few months and especially weeks have been extremely hectic and busy, but we've had some fun too. We went to SeaWorld with the school at our church and Dietrich had a great time. We couldn't help but buy him stuffed animals and a onesie; this kid is so spoiled! All the kids that went on the trip loved having the baby there as well as their Bible teacher. Steve really makes an impact in those kids lives.

We also ended up trading in my Sentra for a VW Passat. We really needed more room with all the stuff the baby needs (stroller, pack and play etc) so we decided to go for it. After a few weeks of comparing the Camary with the Passat, there really was no choice. The Passat comes with more features for the price and has more power. We love it and are very happy with the purchase. We are leasing it, so we do have to be careful with the mileage.

The baby has hit several milestones. He is both crawling and trying to walk. He pulls himself up on EVERYTHING!! He cruises around the furniture and takes a lot of risks, which means he also has a lot of falls. I think he'll be walking soon. He had to go for one more test to rule out a congenital condition that can cause bleeding in infants. We had to go back on three different days because they had a lot of problems getting the IV started. He was stuck a total of 1o times trying to get the IV! It was horrible having to watch him go through that pain, but we got through it and the test was negative. The Dr. started him on a medication that should help with the bleeding. We have started feeding him baby food. He likes pears the most, and hates bananas! He likes vegetables too, but only when he's really hungry. He still likes breast milk the most. The most exciting news it that on Monday we got the okay to go to only night wear with the helmet. His head is still a little flat in the back, but it's a lot better than before.

I finished my second year of medical school and passed all my classes!!! The hardest class of the year Pathophysiology, which is the reason most people have to repeat the year, I passed by one percentage point! I did pretty well in all the other classes. I just took the first part out of three of my licensing exam last week. I'll find out the results in about 5 more weeks. But the most important thing is that I don't have to repeat the year!! All I can say about passing is it was only possible with God's amazing grace and mercy.

My good friend from childhood, Chelsea, got married last weekend. I've known her for her whole life (she's a few years younger than me). It was good to spend some time with some people that I don't see that often but have made an impact on who I am today. Chelsea was one of my bridesmaid's and I always enjoy spending time with her.

We are going to Chicago as a family next Monday and are very excited!! I'm also a little nervous because it will be the baby's first plane ride. I know we will get through it. Then I start orientation for my third year on July 2! So much for summer vacations!

Some Adorable Pictures

2007-06-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

Here are some long awaited pictures.

This is from Easter.

Steve's Grandma Quita had a 70th birthday/Mother's Day party.

This is also from the birthday party. I can't believe how blue my eyes look in this picture.

Dietrich's new highchair.

Dietrich and I with my grandma Willy. She just turned 89 in January is already planning her 90th birthday party!

Wow, it's been a month!!

2007-04-30T22:27:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a month since I've last posted. A lot has happened which I will try to update you on.

Dietrich's health: STILL waiting to hear from his GI Dr. about the results from his biopsy. His primary doctor looked up the results so we know he doesn't have anything serious. But we are still waiting to start him on some type of treatment for the bloody stools, which he still has. Due to the bleeding, he is anemic so we have started him on iron supplement.
He currently has oral thrush (a fungal infection in his mouth) but since the topical solution is not working after two weeks, I put a call in to his doctor so we can try something new.
The helmet is working and his head is rounding out very nicely. We might be able to go to only night wear next month if his progress is going well enough.

Dietrich's milestones: He is doing really well at sitting up, although he still falls over. He scoots along the floor now (our life is officially over as we know it!) and he loves to grab things off the bottom shelf of our coffee table. He has two teeth on the bottom. His hair is actually starting to grow!

My school life: Only two more weeks including this one until finals! I am currently passing all my classes so as long as I pass finals I will be cleared to take my national board exam. If I pass that I will be able to start my clerkship rotations in July. My first rotation is Internal Medicine which is a very demanding one, but at least I'll be able to get it out of the way.

Future plans: On Saturday I'm going to see Wicked with my grandma. She bought tickets back in October with a travel group and thought about taking me. I'm really excited.
We are planning a family vacation to Chicago at the end of June. This will be the first time on an airplane for the baby, so it should be interesting. We have friends there and are excited to spend some time with them and as a family.

That's about it. Sorry, no picture this time, I currently can't find the camera and am too lazy to look for it.

Dietrich's Big Day

2007-03-30T11:37:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, Dietrich has been having some bloody stools for the last few months. We went to see the GI pediatrician last week and she recommended getting a colonoscopy to see the source of the bleeding, which is what we did yesterday. On Wednesday we couldn't feed him any milk, only Pedialyte and juice. I was really dreading it, knowing how serious he is about food. He had one really bad crying spell where he was throwing a temper tantrum and hitting Steve, but after that he actually did really well. I had to kind of force him to drink the Pedialyte, but he would eventually give in and drink it. He didn't like the apple juice at all, which was a surprise. We also had to give him an enema, but he really didn't mind that either (he was distracted by the wipe container on the changing table). He didn't even cry that much during the night, which was a complete surprise to me! He woke up a few times, drank some Pedialyte and went back to sleep.

We went to the hospital and had to wait a few hours before he was taken in. He was very interested in all the equipment in the procedure room. The most amazing thing was he didn't even cry when they put the IV in! He was just looking at the nurses that were holding his arms and the nurse slipped it right in. He did really well during the procedure and slept for about an hour afterwards. He looked so precious. The doctor found an overgrowth of lymph nodes in the large intestine; there are supposed to be some but he had a lot more than are normal. These nodes are very fragile, so any time they get scraped a little they bleed, which is the cause of his bleeding. It could mean he has a more serious condition but we will find out next week when we get the biopsy results back. Most likely it's either allergy related or the reason is unknown.

I'm glad it's over and I'm so proud of my little boy for how well he did!

Dietrich's New Accessory

2007-03-08T09:12:00.000-08:00

Well, we finally went ahead and got the cranial reshaping helmet to fix Dietrich's flat head. I think it's a good thing that we are doing, but at the same time I'm having kind of a hard time adjusting to how he looks in it. We are gradually stepping up the time he spends in it, so the first day (Tuesday) he wore it for two hours, yesterday for four, today for six and by the weekend he should be waring it full time (23 hours a day). Hopefully it will only be for four months, so he will be out of it before the hot summer hits!!

Updates

2007-02-25T17:17:00.000-08:00

In recent news:

Dietrich took his first trip to SeaWorld. He had a lot of fun. He was so interested in everything and liked watching the dolphins swim around.

I passed all my midterms for the first time this year. I did really well on one of them and pretty well on the others. But the important thing is that I passed them all! God is so faithful!

I am struggling with the lactose free diet the Dr. put me on. The baby had been having some blood in his stools and the GI peds Dr. thought it might be the lactose in my diet aggrevating his digestive system. It doesn't make sense to me since lactose is broken down by my body, but I'm doing it anyways. It does seem to be helping, but I'm practically going crazy not being able to eat anything I'm used to. But I'll probably loose those last few baby pounds this way!

Dietrich is going to get a forming helmet. He has a flat head in the back and although Steve and I debated whether it was worth it, we have decided to go ahead. It will have a camoflauge pattern on it.

We are starting Dietrich on rice cereal tonight. He's getting a lot more hungry and still waking up two times a night to eat. So hopefully this will help.

That's all for the updates for now. I hope to post sooner next time.

Dedication

2007-02-12T15:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we dedicated Dietrich in the church. It was a wonderful time and very meaningful. Our district superintendent gave the message so it was special to have him a part of the ceremony. Dietrich slept through it, but we got it on tape so he can watch it later! Both of our families came and really enjoyed taking part in this special day. My grandma Kate got him the adorable outfit, which he is almost too big for so we did it just in time. At lunch Dietrich was amazed by Auntie Marla's scarf, it was so cute. It was a wonderful day.

Snow, School and Illness

2007-01-18T18:59:00.000-08:00

I know it's been almost a week since last friday, but I have to share what I encountered that morning. I was getting ready for school and when I glanced out the window I saw something I haven't seen since living in Kansas City; Snow falling from the sky!! It was the weirdest thing. It wasn't cold enough for the snow to stick to the ground, it all melted but it was very pretty. But also very cold! That will probably be the only time in my life that I will see snow in San Bernardino.

School is going well, I got the 96th percentile on my psychiatry subject exam, which is an exam administered to all medical students in the US. I had a very scary meeting today about choosing the order of clinical rotations, which start this July. There are a lot of on-call rotations which mean I will be spending a lot of time away from home. I'm sad that I will probably miss witnessing Dietrich's first steps. I'll just have to make it up to him somehow!

Dietrich is growing so fast. He hasn't really been rolling over much since that first time last week. I'm afraid that he's coming down with a little bit of a cold since he has a cough and is a little congested. I pray it doesn't turn into anything major. Well that's all for now, enjoy the pictures.

"Yum, ladybugs taste good!"

Rolling Over

2007-01-10T21:09:00.000-08:00

Last week I decided that I needed to get some type of mat to put on the floor for Dietrich to have daily tummy time on. We found the perfect one made by Fisher-Price that is an overhead gym when he is on his back, then the toys transfer to the floor for tummy time and it even converts to a tunnel once he can crawl. So I put him on his tummy today and was taking pictures of him. I looked away and when I looked back he was on his back!!! I put him back on his tummy after calling Steve over, and we saw him extend his left arm and roll himself over on to his back. I put him on his tummy again and got it on video! I didn't think he was supposed to be rolling over at 3 months. I guess I have to watch him a lot more carefully now when he's on the couch!!

New Year's Resolutions

2007-01-09T18:29:00.001-08:00

Since I'm on a blogging kick, I thought I'd post my resolutions, at the request of Beth. I don't think I've ever done a list of resolutions before, but I'm feeling the need for some change so I thought I'd give it a try.

1. Better study habits (like actually studying before the night before the test!)

2. Blog at least once a week (not that anyone really reads my blog, but at least my mom can look at pictures of Dietrich more often)

3. Get serious about reading the Bible and doing daily devotions (I feel my spiritual life could use a renewing)

4. Actually start putting together a scrap book for Dietrich (I have all the stuff to do it, just not the time!!)

5. Write in Dietrich's Baby Book

6. Try to go to a La Leche League meeting to connect with other mothers.

7. Pass my Board Exam in June!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. Read some of the parenting magazines I subscribe to (how did I get talked into receiving three different ones?)

9. Spend quality time with Steve daily!

10. Try really hard to keep the house tidy and clean (yeah right)

So there they are. I hope I can accomplish all of them. A girl can dream, right? Now to close, a cute picture of Dietrich with Steve on New Years watching USC win the Rose Bowl.

Dietrich's New Friend

2007-01-09T18:20:00.000-08:00

A few days after Christmas we had the pleasure of going to San Diego to visit our friends Beth and Andres from college, who now live in Kansas City. We miss them dearly and it's always a lot of fun to get together with them. Their daughter is 9 months old, although she's only a few pounds heavyer than Dietrich!! This was the first time we met their daughter Ali and she is very sweet and cute. The last time we saw them was a year ago at Beth's baby shower. So much happens in a year!! I love spending time with them but it always makes me sad that we can't see them more. I guess that's what happens when we grow up and move away to go to school or get jobs. Sometimes I really long to be back in college!

Baby's First Christmas

2007-01-09T17:58:00.000-08:00

Christmas was wonderful as always and it was so much fun to experience it with Dietrich. The grandparents were very good, they didn't go overboard with gifts for a three month old. On Christmas Eve we had a candlelight service at church and I sang in the chior. I love singing in the chior and wish we would have it more than at Christmas and Easter. Then we went to my in-laws and had dinner and spent time with Steven's extended family. Dietrich looked so adorable in his sweater vest outfit!!!

That night we drove to my parents so we could wake up there on Christmas morning and not have to travel that day. It's always nice to go home. This is a picture of Dietrich in his present from my mom, a chair that helps infants sit up before they can do it on their own. He actually seems to enjoy it!

Later in the day on Christmas we went to my Grandma Kate's and had brunch with my mom's side of the family. Dietrich wore his baby's first christmas outfit. He loved being the center of attention with my cousin and his friend Brad.

Finally a Break

2006-12-20T21:39:00.000-08:00

Well, I survived two weeks of finals and I only failed one test out of 10 (in pharmacology, my least favorite subject). I feel pretty good about my performance since I've really realized how hard it is to study with an infant. They take up a lot of your time and he's so cute I can't help but hold him all the time. So for now I am still in the game, and I plan to change some study habits to make up for the test I failed.

Things have been interesting in our family the last month. Erik, Steve's brother in law, got in an accident at work the night before Thanksgiving. He got his arm caught in a machine that corrugates cardboard. It was a miracle that he still has his arm and his life. The machine could have easily killed him, but one of his coworkers came by in the nick of time and shut of the machine. He has been in and out of the hospital since that night and just had major reconstruction on the injured had. The Dr's aren't sure how much use he will have in the hand since there was a lot of muscle and tendon damage, but they have so far been able to save the hand and arm. He is in a lot of pain and we pray for healing for him and strength for his family. I've been trying to help take care of the kids (Julia is 5 and Matthew is 13) while their mom spends most of her time at the hospital. Now that finals are over I hope to be more helpful.

Dietrich is doing great, but growing up too fast!! He's a big boy, he was 12 1/2 pounds at 2 months old. He's already outgrown most of his 0-3 month clothes and he's not even 3 months yet!! He gives us so much joy. He holds up his head pretty well now, likes to punch and kick a lot, says "a-goo" and "ma", and smiles and laughs (although the laughing is mostly in his sleep. What do babies dream about anyways?) I love him more than anything in this world and am amazed that the love I have for him is only a fraction of the love God has for me. Here are some pictures from Thanksgiving, isn't he cute in his outfit and with his cousins!!

First Day in Med School

2006-11-21T21:35:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I took Dietrich to class with me. All my classmates loved him and they were so helpful in holding him while I took notes. Everyone is very supportive and willing to help when I need it. It is such a blessing to have such a wonderful class.

This is my friend Andre who took these pictures for me.

Halloween Baby Pictures

2006-11-16T20:13:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry it has been so long since I've posted. Here are some more pictures of Dietrich, including some from Halloween. A family friend got Dietrich these baby scrubs and they arrived just in time for Halloween, and since we didn't have a costume for him, we decided to put him in the scrubs and I wore mine so we matched. We went to Steve's parents church for their "Harvest" carnival and everyone loved seeing him.

We are doing pretty well. I'm still going to class every day, although I miss a lecture here and there. Studying is difficult since I get very tired in the evenings. I really need to start studying more if I'm going to pass. Hopefully I will figure out a way to stay awake. Steve is busy as ever but he is such a huge help. Dietrich is growing fast and is healthy except for a skin rash we can't get rid of. He's smiling more often and has started making little coo sounds. I find everything he does interesting. It's really amazing being a parent and watching a person grow. Every milestone is such an accomplishment, and I'm proud of him for everything he does.

Motherhood

2006-10-23T22:57:00.000-07:00

No matter how much people try to describe parenthood to a soon-to-be-parent it really means very little. You just have to experience it for yourself to fully understand it. It is joyful yet exhausting. I have never in my life had this little sleep for so many days in a row, yet I have tapped into some unknown source of energy and am still able to function. Being the parent of a newborn is hard work. They require everything from you, and especially since I am breastfeeding there is a lot of responsibility involved. I have never felt so emotional as I have the last few weeks. I did not have an emotional pregnancy, but I guess it all came out at once the week after the baby's birth. I think I cried at least once a day, mostly for no reason or for feelings of guilt that I was doing something wrong as a parent already. These crying spells have mostly stopped though, which I'm sure Steve is grateful for.

I was able to take all 6 of my exams last week, which I credit completely to God. There is no way I could have done it alone, and I know it was God who gave me the strength to get through it. I failed most of them, but only within a few points of passing so it will not be that hard to make up on the next tests. Now I am back attending lectures and it has been nice to hear all the support from my classmates. I miss Dietrich when I am gone, but I'm glad he can spend some alone time with daddy.

Dietrich Wesley

2006-10-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

He is finally here!! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to post about the baby's birth, but as you can imagine things have been pretty crazy!! He was born on Oct 3rd at 12:13 pm after 15 hours of labor (3 1/3 exhausting hours spent pushing!) He was 7 lbs 14 oz and 19 in long. He is a perfect baby, he only cries when he needs something, mostly to feed, and he often sleeps for 5-6 hrs at a time. The only thing is he usually likes to eat for about 2 hours in the middle of the night, so sleep has been lacking. We are really enjoying getting to know him and the love I have for him was so strong the first time I saw him and has only been growing since then. I'm doing well, healing from the trauma inflicted from all the pushing and trying to study for midterms next week.

The Waiting Continues

2006-09-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

Last night at 9 I started having some pretty significant contractions that were 2 min apart and lasted about 1 min each. So, after about 3 hours of waiting to see if they would last, we went to the hospital. They got us in a room, hooked me up to the monitors after I changed into the fashionable gown and got all checked in. Then the nurse checked my progress. Since I was only 2.5 to 3 cm dilated, they sent me home to get some sleep. I was totally expecting to wake up in the middle of the night and rush back in. But no. We got home at 2 am, I woke up at 8:30 with some small and irregular contractions and proceeded to try and restart my labor, which included walking around the mall for a few hours. This was not successful as I am no longer having contractions. This suspense is just killing me!! I'm sure that since I wasn't at school today everyone has assumed that I've had the baby. Now I have to go back to school tomorrow and explain that no, it was just a false alarm. I really wish the baby would just come out already!! We have a Dr. appt tomorrow, so we will see what is going on then.

Get Out Already!!!

2006-09-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

I am sooooooooo ready for this baby to be born. I've been having small contractions since Friday and every day I think, oh this will be the day that I'm having my baby. But, no. He refuses to come out. I know my due date isn't really until Friday, but I'm just tired of waiting. I'm not a very patient person. The reason I'm so ready is not so much that I'm uncomfortable, which I kind of am, but because I really want to meet my baby. It's been 10 months and I can't wait to see what he looks like, if he has hair, if he is in fact a boy. The room is completely ready now that we have purchased the gliding rocking chair. It's perfect, except that it's missing the occupant. I just really hope he doesn't go over the due date, the suspense would kill me!!

38 weeks and counting

2006-09-18T14:36:00.000-07:00

I'm now past the 38 week mark and coming into the home stretch of my pregnancy. Really, he could decide to come anytime now, and I think I'm getting more and more ready. We had our shower with the church on Saturday. It was a coed barbecue so Steve got to go and help open the gifts, which he thought was fun. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such generous and loving people.

I'm starting my third week of school and although it's a bit overwhelming I'm doing alright. There are a lot of extra assignments in addition to lectures this year and although I have until March to get these assignments done I'm still feeling the pressure of the year. Academically it seems more challenging already with a lot of things to know and memorize. I'm trying to stay caught up but I find it hard to concentrate in the afternoons so I've fallen a little behind. I know it will all work out in the end.

Since I've been nesting for the last few days we got the baby's room all fixed up and it is so adorable. This is probably the last time it will look this nice, so I'll enjoy it while it lasts!

Only 4 weeks to go!!!

2006-09-02T21:49:00.000-07:00

So in 4 weeks I should be a first time mommy. When I first got pregnant I thought to myself, this is great and exciting and what I've wanted for years! Now that the reality is setting in quickly, I'm getting more scared and nervous. What was I thinking? I'm in Med school for goodness sakes!! How am I going to do this?! I have these little freakout moments every so often, but really the realization that a human baby will be living in my house in a few weeks still hasn't set in. I think I haven't put it together yet that this thing inside me that kicks and squirms and twists (causing quite a bit of pain at times!) is actually a baby and I am his mommy! Hopefully I will realize these things in the next few weeks.

Oh and by the way, I start school on Tuesday. AAAAHHHHHH

Vacation!!

2006-08-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

Last week we spent a few days relaxing on a much needed vacation. I'm now done with research and Steve was able to take a week off work (once the other pastors got back from their vacations). We started by going to my parents in Fountain Valley where on Sunday my Grandma Kate took us all out to the elite member's only club the Magic Castle in Hollywood. It was so much fun. We rented a limo so none of us had to worry about driving through LA traffic and then we had dinner at the club (excellent food!) and saw the magic show. We ate in the Houdini seance room which was really cool. There were 11 of us all together. Then on Monday we went to San Diego and stayed in a nice hotel and I got to see some old friends from college. We went to the zoo on wednesday (I've been dying to see the new monkey exhibit) and tryed out our new video camara. We unfortunatly had to come back wednesday night but then we both took thursday off and got the crib put together. It was a fun week which ended Saturday with my baby shower. I now have two weeks until I start school, then 4 weeks until the baby comes!! The summer has gone by so fast!

Bubble Tummy

2006-07-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I couldn't get any bigger, the baby grew again!! I still refuse to believe that I will be as huge as the pregnant women I see in stores and stuff, but I guess I have to get used to the idea that the baby still has a lot of growing to do. Here is a picture of me 3 weeks ago at 27 weeks pregnant. My sister and I took my mom to the tea room at Huntington Gardens for her birthday. I think I look exceptionally huge in this picture, but I guess that's really how I look! Except that my arms don't normally look that ugly, I'm not sure what's going on there.

In other news, my birthday came and went last week. I'm now the ripe old age of 26. Of course I've been saying I'm 26 for a few months now since Steve turned 26 in Jan and I just always see us as the same age. I had a nice time with my in-laws on my birthday and the next day we went to my parents. Steve experienced his first pedicure and manicure, and really enjoyed it too! I think I've created a monster. But at least it got me out of doing his nails for him.

In pregnancy news, everything is going well except that it is too darn hot here!! It's been 110 for a week and being pregnant in this heat is no picnic. 3 weeks ago I started getting dizzy spells, but my doctor isn't too concerned. I think I'm just getting too dehydrated or hot or something. But I haven't really been feeling that well the last few weeks. I hope it gets better, but since I'm now in my last trimester I have the feeling things will only get worse. Oh well, it will all be worth it in the end when we get to meet our baby Dietrich (who I'm sure is going to be a soccer player with all the kicking he does).

Working?

2006-06-30T12:27:00.000-07:00

So I've decided, probably not very intelligently, to work doing research this summer. I am beginning to regret my decision. This is the one "golden" summer we get in med school. Next summer we start doing clinical rotations shortly after we take our first board exam. So this was my last chance to enjoy being a slacker for the summer. But I decided to be responsible and work, in order to make money for the baby. But a part of me really wishes I could just stay home and get the house in order from moving 2 months ago. Luckily the doctor I'm doing research under is very laid back and gives us days off if we need them. And I'm saving on air conditioning by being gone all day!

I really do like the place I'm working at, which is a long term care facility for children who are ventilator dependent (most of them are brain damaged and thus can't breath on their own). It may seem depressing, but seeing the small milestones these kids reach really touches my heart. To see a kid respond with a smile when you talk to him, or stop crying when you give him his favorite teddy bear, or start fussing when you walk in front of the TV they are watching. These are things we expect infants to do, but the fact that a six year old who is severly mentally disabled can do them is remarkable. I'm blessed every day I see these kids. It may not be the most ideal "last summer ever", but at least I enjoy what I'm doing and hopefully will make a difference somehow.

Two Years Already?

2006-06-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our two year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it has already been two years! The flowers were sent to us from the church, arn't they beautiful? We didn't really do anything to celebrate but we hope to go on a small trip in July, maybe to Monteray Bay or San Diego. We had Steve's parents over last night for dinner, it was fun to get out the fine china and have an excuse to clean the house! I think the horror of my wedding is almost behind me, I don't think about it nearly as much as I used to and I'm almost ready to put the best pictures in an album so people can actually look at them. A lot has happened in the last two years and I'm excited to see how we will change and grow in the future, especially once Dietrich comes!!

more ordination pics

2006-06-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

The whole family

Ordination

2006-06-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

Steve was ordained last night in a beautiful service at the conclusion of our church district's yearly assembly. It was the first assembly I've been to, and although it got long at times, I really did enjoy hearing what has gone on in other churches this past year. Being a relatively new Nazarene, I'm still learning about the administrative side of the church, but I think it's kind of fun. I was happy to see the pastor of the church where I went while in college (he also married Steve and I) and his wife and kids. I met a lot of new people too.

The ordination was truly a celebration of the call God has put on Steve's life. I hadn't really thought about what the ordination meant for our family until I was sitting in the service, listening to one of the 6 heads of our denomination talk about it. He was encouraging us to not lose heart when times get tough and to always stay true to the call. I guess I never realized how hard it can become, now that Steve is ordained and we have publicly announced our commitment to a life in ministry. Currently we are in a wonderful church that is very supportive of us, but this may not always be the case. My eyes were opened to that fact that we will be somewhat in the public eye due to Steve's call to be a pastor, and that can be rough. These are things I just haven't thought about much until last night. I don't really feel any different since last night, but I do feel a permanence to the ministry Steve and I have dedicated our lives to.

Still Alive

2006-05-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

After taking 11 tests in 2 1/2 weeks I am still alive and actually eligible to move on to my second year of medical school. It was a grueling few weeks with many moments of panic as to whether or not I would pass everything, but except for the two scores I'm waiting to receive, I have passed all my classes!! I can't believe that the year is over and I actually made it through. We're on the wards again now, like we were in the beginning of the year except now we're expected to know something. I'm on OB/GYN for two weeks then switch to Internal Med. I'm hopefully going to be seeing some deliveries next week in the hospital where I will be delivering. I know, I must be crazy wanting to see women in labor knowing I'll have to do it in a few months, but I like to know what I'm getting into. And it's kind of neat to get an insiders perspective on how the ward works before I'm a patient there.

Dietrich is doing well, moving around A LOT and growing. The official ultrasound report said everything looks normal, which is a huge relief. However I have to confess that I am already a bad parent because I somehow managed to lose the ultrasound pictures. I'm pretty sure I threw them away unintentionally. I am still pretty upset about this, and I tried to get replacement pics from radiology but they aren't the same ones and not as good quality. Oh well, what can you do when you have no brain!! Here is a picture of me at 20 weeks, on Mother's Day. (I'm now 22 weeks!)

It's a boy!!

2006-05-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

We found out last week at the ultrasound that we are having a boy! We are very excited, of course we would be excited if it was a girl too, but we kind of wanted to have a boy first. My dad had only daughters and he really wanted a grandson so I'm glad he will have one now. We have already named him Dietrich Wesley. The ultrasound went well, and since the previous week I had a class on interpreting ultrasounds I can say with a small bit of knowledge that everything looked okay. We won't get the official report until I go back to the Dr. in two weeks. Hopefully we will find a scanner and post the ultrasound pics. After I saw him on the ultrasound I wanted so badly to have him here. But, still I'm glad I have 5 months still to prepare!

Pregnant belly

2006-04-29T20:39:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a while since I've last posted. We are finally almost all moved in to our new place, although not near done unpacking. I have my last week of classes next week before finals. I can't believe that I'm almost done with my first year, it has gone by so fast. My pregnancy is going by fast too, I'm already 18 weeks and really starting to show. These are pictures from 2 weeks ago. We go for the official ultrasound next thursday, where we will find out the gender. I'm so excited! Hopefully we will find out a way to post the ultrasound picture. At times I feel the pregnancy is going so fast I can't keep up with it, but then I realize I still have over half way left, which I'm glad of because we are no where near ready!! I'll post again after the ultrasound with the news.

Sick and Pregnant

2006-04-06T20:32:00.000-07:00

This past week I have come down with a head/chest cold. I never appreciated the freedom to take medication while I was not pregnant until now. I'm afraid to take anything so I have suffered the illness without the help of my friend the pharmaceutical. I did learn today that I can take over the counter cough medicine, but since that rarely works for me I'm not that optimistic. I just hope it goes away before I have to sing in the Easter musical next week, in which I have a solo.

In other news, I am now 15 weeks pregnant and beginning to show. I've never been more happy to gain weight! And Hawaii was a blast, we didn't want to come home. Although it was rainy for almost the whole time and we only saw the sun twice, it was still warm and very relaxing. Now it's back to the stresses of life. Why didn't I just stay in Hawaii?

Is Spring Here?

2006-03-23T11:25:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, I live in Southern California and you are thinking "isn't the weather always nice there?" Well, most of the time it is, but for the last month or so we have had winter. And I'm ready for spring. I've always lived close to the coast in CA until now. The weather is different inland. For one, we live very close to the mountains so it gets pretty chilly. Second, in the summer it is above 100 degrees for a good 2 months. I thought when I moved back to CA I would have the perpetual spring of San Diego, but this is not the case in the inland empire (the IE). So, after many weeks of rain and weather in the 40's and 50's, the temperature finally broke 70 today!! It really makes me happy to be warm. Here is a picture of the mountains outside our house, covered in snow from Monday's storm. I just hope the weather decides to stay warm after I get back from vacation!!

Evidence of a Baby

2006-03-22T15:32:00.000-08:00

Today we went to the Dr. to hear the heart beat. First they found the heart with the doppler and it took a little while (which I was prepared for) then found it. The baby was moving around so they would get it and then lose it right away. I then asked if they could do an ultrasound since they have one in the office. It's very un-official, they can't see a lot with it but we did see a baby. We saw his/her legs, arms, briefly the head, the abdomen and the tiny beating heart. The baby was kind of standing up and facing towards us so the head was mostly out of view. It was really cool. The baby was doing somersaults. It was all kind of surreal though, I can't believe that the little being we saw on the screen is actually inside me. I thought I would get all emotional, but I think I still don't believe it. I'm really relieved that everything looks fine so far. I'm really glad that Steven could be there to experience it too.

Just two more days of tests then off to Hawaii!!

Life Despite Med School

2006-03-15T16:27:00.000-08:00

Despite the fact that I have finals next week, life just keeps happening. Last Saturday I had planned on spending the day studying in order to catch up, however my mom called on Friday night to tell me that my dad's uncle had died. I wasn't close to Jim, but I am close to many members of the family that were close to him so I decided I should go and support the family. I'm really glad that I went, it was a beautiful service and I really enjoyed spending the day with my parents, sister, grandma, great aunt and uncles. I didn't think I would cry, except that Jim was very good friends with my grandpa who passed away 2 years ago, so when they mentioned my grandpa I lost it. Even though it's been a few years, I am still morning the death of grandpa. I really miss him.

Yesterday my husband was interviewed for ordination in our denomination. I was asked to come to support him and so that the board could meet me. It required me missing a whole day of classes but I am happy I went. The board unanimously agreed to recommend Steven for full ordination at the next district assembly, which is in June. It is unusual for someone my husband's age to be ordained this soon after graduating from seminary, and who has the desire to work in the inner city as we do. The board seemed grateful for our hearts for service and thrilled by our accomplishments. I knew about 4 people there (including the pastor that performed our wedding), my husband knew more than half, so it was comforting seeing people we know. It was an encouraging experience and I am so proud of my husband for his accomplishments and continued desire to serve God.

The pregnancy has also been hindering my schooling because some afternoons I feel very nauseous and tired and I just can't study. I'm getting bigger, which is exciting, and I'm happy to announce that I'm done with my first trimester. Sometimes I wonder how I'm really going to make it next year, but I have no plans of quitting so I'll have to figure something out. Next week we go to hear the heart beat; I'm so excited and scared at the same time.

I'm grateful that I have supportive family and friends around me to help me in life, despite the fact that it sometimes takes me away from studying and school. But I am very willing and happy to do things in order to have a well rounded life and a healthy marriage.

We're Moving!

2006-03-04T11:02:00.000-08:00

Just when it started to seem like we would never be able to move out, we were blessed with a place to move to. The church is still struggling to pay Steven so I was getting kind of depressed, wondering if we would have our own place by the time the baby came. Then, a few days later Steven called me to tell me that we were given the opportunity to live in a Condo the pastor's brother-in-law bought. The amazing thing is, we don't have to pay rent! It's in a poor neighborhood in San Bernardino, but it seems to be safe. The complex in gated and there are several families in the church who live there so we know it's not dangerous. The Condo is very nice, they are doing some minor repairs and even giving us new carpet and floors and we got to pick out paint too. It's very exciting. Eventually we plan on trying to buy something of our own, but for now this is going to be perfect. We were hoping to move in next week, but things got pushed back. Since I have finals coming up in two weeks we probably won't move in until after Spring Break (we're going on our honeymoon to Hawaii). It doesn't really matter when we move in to me, I'm just so happy to be moving. The place is only 5 min from church and 15 from school, so we will be saving a lot of money on gas. I'll post pictures as soon as the place is fixed up.

Family Day Picture

2006-03-01T22:04:00.000-08:00

I just found this picture of my parents and I at lunch on family day on my class website, taken by the class historian.

Class of 2009 Dedication Service

2006-03-01T13:12:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago we had a lovely dedication service at school. It was preceded by family day where our parents came and experienced a day in the life of a med student. My parents came and went to three lectures with me which they enjoyed, then we had a pretty good lunch, all vegetarian of course because of the school's affiliation with the Seventh day Adventist church, and then they got a history lesson about the school and learned about the long educational road we have ahead of us. At the evening service we were presented with Bibles engraved with the school's emblem. My husband and his parents came to the evening service. It was a wonderful day and I'm really glad everyone could make it.

The picture was taken while we stated the Christian physician's oath. I'm in the front row in a yellow sweater, 5 people in from the left side.

Can I Go to Sleep Now?

2006-02-16T17:51:00.000-08:00

Boy have I been exhausted lately. I know it's all part of being pregnant, but I didn't have a lot of energy before I got pregnant so it's even worse now. I got through midterms with failing only one test (I was ONE POINT away from passing). I'm actually surprised on how well I did on some of them considering I didn't study all that much because I was tired and felt nauseous. But I got through it alright. This week has been a very busy week at school and I haven't been able to take naps in the afternoon, so I feel like I could just sleep for three days straight! But enough complaining.
I went to my first OB appt yesterday and I really love my Dr. She's young and really nice and caring. As long as I stay low risk she will deliver my baby. She said everything looks on track and she's keeping the due date of Sept 29. I don't have to go back for a month, and at that appt they will look for the heartbeat. I think it will be so much more real when I hear the heart beat for the first time. I'm excited. Well, that's about all for now.

Being Pregnant Has Some Perks

2006-02-07T19:01:00.000-08:00

Not that I'm trying to get out of doing school work because I want to get the best education possible, but I don't have to go to Anatomy lab anymore. The fumes from the formaldehyde are pretty strong and they make me want to pass out and throw up, plus being potentially harmful for the baby. This makes me kind of happy because now I will have a little extra free time on lab days (extra nap time!) but I kind of like anatomy lab and I really like my lab partners so it makes me a little sad that I won't be spending that time with them. I also hope people in my class will understand and not be nasty about it, thinking I'm trying to get out of doing work. I just don't want to deal with people like that. I'm not sure how they will be calculating my grade since lab is about half of the grade, but the teachers already told me that it was an option for me, so I'm taking that option. Well, since it's midterm week I should really get to studying.

My First Pregnancy Meltdown

2006-02-02T18:50:00.001-08:00

So I guess the hormones are really starting to kick in because I had my first meltdown last night. I won't go into all the details of what precipitated it, but I can say that it got a lot worse when I realized that I bought a box of saltine crackers when we already had one at home. I REALLY started bawling when I saw this. Pregnancy sure makes a woman upset about the silliest things.
In other pregnancy news, I think the morning (or in my case afternoon) sickness is starting. I've been getting more nauseous the last two days, especially in the afternoon. I hope it doesn't get worse than it is now. I don't think I could handle that.

"Two Lines Means You're Pregnant"

2006-01-30T17:56:00.000-08:00

I was debating when I wanted to share this joyous news with the blogging world, but since my husband spilled the beans already on his blog I thought I should as well. According to my calculations I am 4 weeks along, and according to the nurse practitioner I saw on Friday I will be due the end of September. We are of course overjoyed with the thought of having a baby, but it is really scary at the same time. I just hope all goes well. I know it's not a bad idea to wait until after the first trimester to tell people, since the chance for miscarriage is so high in the first few months, but we just couldn't help but share the news. I am more than a little scared that something will go wrong, but I'm trying not to dwell on it. Following you will see the first evidence that I will be a mother in the near future.

I Love So Cal

2006-01-18T21:08:00.000-08:00

Only in California can you drive from the mountains to the beach in an hour, have lunch in Chinatown, go to Disneyland a few days later and be a movie extra for a part time job! I am so happy to be back in California.
On Friday I went to visit my parents in Orange County and we went to Chinatown in downtown LA for lunch. We went to have dim sum, but they were no longer serving lunch when we got there, so we went to the famous Hop Louie restaurant. It was so good. I also picked up the cutest Chinese style dress, shoes and parasol for my 4 yr. old niece (all for under $30 I might add).
Then on Monday we went to Disneyland with my sister in law and the kids. I had a annual pass for 5 years in high school and college and it was fun to go back after some things have changed. The new Space Mountain is really fun, a lot smoother and faster. I love Disneyland!!
I found out that my sister has decided to be a movie and TV extra for some extra cash while she peruses her music career. Only in So Cal!!!

Is Empathy A Skill?

2006-01-10T21:09:00.000-08:00

I just started a new class this quarter. It is titled understanding Your Patient and I really love it after only having it a week so far. It claims to be able to teach us new and ignorant doctors how to empathize with our patients. As far as I know this is revolutionary in the medical curriculum. I don't think most schools teach it. In this class we will learn to see things from the patients point of view, to step into their shoes and truly understand their situation. We will also learn to give bad news, to take into account cultural differences, and how to motivate a patient to take charge of his/her own health.
I am so glad that at least one medical school is teaching this. I believe that the mentality in the past has been to learn this by the trial by error method in rotations and residency. What my school is doing is getting us to think about patient interaction before we ever see one. This will hopefully help train us how to properly and efficiently talk to patients, and to understand why it might be hard for a patient to listen to our instructions.
The teachers keep saying something to us that is really starting to hit me. They say "sure you are all healthy now, but one day you will need a doctor too." They assume that we have not been in circumstances where we are under the long term care of a doctor. The reason this is surprising to me is not that I will one day be a patient, believe me I have seen my share of doctors already in my life, but that some of my classmates have not ever really been sick. Since I practically grew up in a doctor's office because I was sick so much I know exactly what it feels like to be a patient, to try and get doctor's to understand my situation, and I have felt the frustrations of the healthcare system. I am very glad that my school is attempting to teach those who don't know what it feels like to be a patient how to empathize with patients.
So, can empathy be taught as a skill? Or is it an inherent trait that some people have and others don't? I guess I will see through taking this class, although I think we all have the capacity to empathize but that all people may not realize how to do it.

Elphaba Lives!!

2005-12-31T16:37:00.000-08:00

It took me 3 months to start and one week to finish Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire. I loved Wicked and highly recommend it to anyone and was thus very excited to start the sequel. Once I started it I wasn't sure if I'd like it. I've read other books by Maguire and didn't like them nearly as much as Wicked so I wondered if I would like Son of a Witch that much. Well, I do! It took a while to get into but I loved it. It really raises questions of identity, what defines who we are and how we grow up. Reading Son of a Witch about a year after Wicked was like returning to a beloved location and rediscovering it. I think Maguire kind of left it open at the end, so hopefully he is thinking of writing a sequel to the sequel. I think anyone who likes to read should read these books, but it would probably help to read Wicked first in order to understand the situation and characters in Son of a Witch. Next I plan to read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe after seeing the beautiful movie! We'll see how long it takes for me to finish it.

What Christmas Means to Me

2005-12-29T09:50:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas, it is my favorite holiday. Not because of the presents, which is why I liked it so much as a child, but because of the significance of it. I love singing the Christmas hymns about the birth of Christ. I love getting together with family and sharing about my life and finding out about theirs. I can't really explain the feelings I have of Christmas, but I always get teary eyed when I hear O Holy Night or Hark the Harold Angels Sing because of the beautiful imagery of the birth of Christ. I can't even imagine what that night was like but when I try I am overwhelmed with emotion. This Christmas I felt was extra significant because of it being on Sunday. Normally I would be upset by my traditions getting mixed up because we went to church on Christmas, but this year I was overjoyed to worship on that special day. So, people may say what they will about the materialism of Christmas or whatever, but it is still the most special time of year for me.

A Much Needed Vacation

2005-12-17T19:30:00.000-08:00

I am half way done with my first year of med school!! I am soooooooooo ready for a vacation. Today was my first day off and I still had to wake up early, but at least I got to indulge in a nap! This last week of finals was harder than the other two test weeks. We had less tests but they were pretty hard and some were cumulative so I feel very burnt out. But I made it!! I really look forward to seeing friends and family over the holiday's and I am very excited to go to my friend Beth's baby shower. I haven't seen her at all since she got pregnant and I really miss her. I only get two weeks off for break but I know they will be the best two weeks all year! I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!!

The Problem with Med School

2005-12-10T22:43:00.000-08:00

I have waited my whole life to undergo this experience. However, the biggest downfall I see so far is that there is not enough time to really enjoy the material. I am really excited about the material that we are learning, but the pace is SOOOOOOOOO fast that I am finding myself struggling to stay interested. For instance, right now we finished learning about immunity. In college we took 8 weeks to do this, but here we took about 3. I think it is fascinating but I just don't have time to get excited about it. There is just too much to learn! I am still having fun but I'm ready for vacation! Hopefully I will get used to the pace as time goes on and will learn to appreciate what I am learning despite the speed in which it is presented to me.

More On Tests and Also a Life Update

2005-12-01T19:39:00.000-08:00

I feel like all I post about is tests and my grades. Well, in a week and a half I will have more tests! Another full week of exams, but this time most of them are cumulative so they will be a bit harder. I can't believe that I am almost half way done with my first year of med school. It feels like I just started! We are learning some pretty cool stuff right now. I learned how to do an abdominal exam and we are learning a bunch of immunology. I have been learning about laboratory tests, which is really neat because I worked in a clinical lab for two years and now I am learning what all those blood tests are for! Sometimes I really wonder what I am getting myself into, but I know I would not be happy doing anything else with my life.

I have to start thinking about what I will do with my summer. It is the last summer that I will get, pretty much for the rest of my life. My original plan, as many of you know, was to have a baby but that didn't really work out so now I have to think of a plan B! I think I will have to get a job, so I am considering doing research since I will not only make money but it also looks good on a resume.

Many of you know that before I started school I was healing from a bad disk in my back. Well, I am very happy to say that I am pretty much healed and I no longer take pain medication. I still have pain almost daily but it is not that noticeable anymore and it mostly comes after sitting for long periods of time. I have learned to live with it and I don't think it has impaired my studying at all.

An update about moving: I don't think it will be happening for a while. The church is struggling to pay Steve right now so we can't really justify paying rent when we don't know if he will be getting paid in the future. I'm sure it will all work out in the end, but for now we are happy where we are, although the commute really stinks!

I am really looking forward to Christmas and a full two weeks off from school! It will hopefully be a good time of recuperation and I hope to be energized to start another quarter. Hopefully I will be able to post more too!

Grades

2005-11-15T17:36:00.000-08:00

I have received all my grades from this last set of exams except for the Anatomy practical. The final score: 3 above 90% (my highest was a 95% in cell biology), 3 in the 80% range and a 73% (in biochem, but that was a really hard test). I am very pleased with my scores and I actually did better this time than last, although I felt I studied less.
On another note, I cut about 5 inches off my hair. It is now layered and at my shoulders. I really like how it looks and it is so much easier to handle. The next decision is weather or not to die it again.

My First "A"!!!!

2005-11-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

This week was midterms and it was a full week of exams. Last time we only had three days of exams but this time it was all five days! I am so brain dead and tired of memorizing and thinking. We got back the results for Monday's and Tuesday's exams and I passed all of them. Tuesday was the hardest day with Biochem (which I thought I was going to fail but didn't) and physical diagnosis. If we actually got grades (which we don't because it is only pass/fail with a 65% being pass in most classes) I would have received my first A. I got a 91% in physical diagnosis, which is the class where we learn to do a physical exam and actually get to pretend to be doctors! It's my favorite class so I am very happy to be doing well in it. I will get the rest of my results on Monday, but since Biochem was the hardest and I passed it I'm not too worried about the rest. Well, I just wanted to share my excitement with all of you.

House Hunting

2005-10-22T16:51:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day we went looking for a home. We found this one that was so perfect, very close to the school and the perfect size (see picture). Only problem, it was $430,000!!!! There is no way we can afford anything close to that. So now we know we won't be able to buy anything in Loma Linda! We also saw some townhomes in Redlands, but they were $350,000 and pretty small, but do-able. The major problem is they all pretty much are part of a homeowners association which means limited freedom in what we can do to our home. We just aren't conformists :) So, needless to say, we didn't find anything we're going to buy tomorrow, but we have an idea of what is out there. I just hope we will find something in our price range.

Fun Personality Tests

2005-10-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

So as some of my friends did, I took these personality tests. Click on the link to take them yourself and tell me what you are. My husband is The Godfather and Sadam Hussein (my sister in law is as well). I am happy with my results.

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Pastor Appreciation

2005-10-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

The month of October is pastor appreciation month. Ususally the church board takes the pastoral staff to a nice dinner or gives them some sort of gift. However, at our church the pastor took us and the music pastor out to dinner!! It was a very nice evening at a fancy restaurant in the foothills of San Bernardino. It had a beautiful view. I love to get dressed up and go out to a nice dinner and it's been a while since we've been able to. It was a nice break from all things medical school!!

Corpse Bride

2005-10-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

I'm glad to say Tim Burton's Corpse Bride did not disappoint. I think that stop motion photography ( or as I call it claymation) is such an art and it is so refreshing to see that it is not a lost art. In the digital world we live in it's like a breath of fresh air to see something organic. Of course the music is wonderful (I love Danny Elfman) with some cute songs and the storyline was fun. I wouldn't take any kids to see it, it was a little scary, but I really enjoyed it. I highly recommend it!

Results

2005-10-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

I got the results of my exams and I passed all of them!! I even got above the average on all of them, which I think is very good. The one I thought I failed was one of my highest grades. I know that it was God who helped me through and gave me peace when I was taking the tests. I never really felt that stressed. So now my goal is to study more the weeks leading up to the test so I won't have to do so much right before. So far this plan is not in action, I kind of took this last week off.
Today I am going to see Corpse Bride and I'm going to buy a new book, Son of a Witch. I will post later on both of these. I am very excited to have a date night with my husband. Med school prevents me from seeing him all that much. Well, I guess I should get some studying done before we go out. I hope everyone is doing well, please post comments to tell me how you are.

Finals are Over!!

2005-09-23T10:51:00.000-07:00

I am so happy to be through my first set of finals. There were tough, but I think I passed all of them. I don't think I have every studied so much in such a short amount of time before. It was insane!! But it all paid off. Now I have a few days off before starting back to class on Monday. I will be going to my parents house today, I haven't seen them in a while and I miss them. Other than that I will just be relaxing and catching up on sleep!
In other news, I am very excited that Gregory Maguire's new book Son of a Witch is coming out next week. It is the sequel to Wicked. My friend Beth got me hooked on his books and I have been waiting for this one. Hopefully I will have some time to read it, although it will probably take me a few months! I'll try and post my impressions.

FINALS!! AAAHHHHHH

2005-09-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

Well, finals are almost here! Tomorrow I have Anatomy, Embryology and evidence based medicine. Tuesday I have Cell and Biochemistry and Wednesday I have Patient Diagnosis and Physiology. I don't feel ready at all!! I have spent the whole weekend studying but there is just so much to learn!
I'm really not that stressed out, no matter how the previous paragraph sounded. I know that God had taken me this far, so I know God will see me through these first tests. God didn't get me this far to see me fall flat on my face! I just didn't realize until this weekend how much there is to study. Note to self: Start studying after each lecture. Don't wait until right before the tests!!!

Studying

2005-09-08T20:31:00.000-07:00

I really don't like to study. I never minded it in college, but now that I have been out of college for two years and have just started med school, I am realizing that I really don't like to sit down for three to four hours studying. Therefore, I haven't been. My first set of exams is the week after next and I really don't know what in the world we have been learning about. Something about the human body maybe? Or cells? I hope I will find the concentration and strength to start studying soon. But until then I will continue to procrastinate as I am doing now.

I Miss My Husband

2005-08-28T21:45:00.000-07:00

Steve went down to San Diego tonight to be there for his fantasy football draft. I already miss him!! But I'm also extremely jealous that he gets to go to San Diego and I have to go to class tomorrow. I love SD and miss living there. And I'm also starting to not want to go to class. Is that a bad sign after only a week?
I had fun with my friend Heather last night. It is so good to get caught up with old friends who you haven't seen in a while. I miss all my college and high school friends. I miss Beth and talking with her late into the night. I really feel bad for leaving her and Andres in KC. I miss Stacie and Heather and just hanging out, watching chick flicks. I miss Kristi and driving around HB listening to music and helping set up her classroom. I miss Susan and doing nothing in particular but still having a fun time. Why can't college just have lasted a little longer? And why do people have to grow up and move all over the country making it hard to get together? Oh well, I guess it happens to everyone, but I really miss all my old friends.

First Week Thoughts

2005-08-27T18:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I've made it through my first week of classes. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I am so glad I was a biology major in college, all the lectures so far have been over stuff I took in college. So it's basically just review at this point. I haven't been studying that much, which makes me wonder what my classmates are studying for hours a night. I know it will get harder in time, so I'm enjoying the free time I still have!!!
We started on the cadavers on Friday. Actually, half of the class started, the other half (my half) watched a video of the dissection. I have to say I was a little relieved that we were just watching a video. I'm a little freaked out about dissecting people.
One of my best friends is coming to hang out with me tonight. She lives in Arizona so I don't get to see her that much. I'm very excited!! It should be a nice brake.

Rude Rude Rude

2005-08-19T16:19:00.000-07:00

I logged in to my blog today to discover that there were ads posted in the comment section of my latest entry!!! This is simply not acceptable!! I have deleted the entries now, but they were ads for car loans and some event managing thing. I went to their blogs and they are basically businesses. Please, people of the blogging world, if you have a business that is wonderful, but DO NOT advertise on my personal blog and clutter it up. I get enough of that with my email. If this happens again I will report these blogs to blogger.com. Have some common courtesy people!

On the Wards #2

2005-08-18T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm about to finish my second and final week on the wards before I start class. It has been a good experience overall, although a little boring at times. I've seen a lot of pretty neat and rare things, but also some sad things. One of the kids that my team was taking care of died. She has been very sick for a long time, so in a way it is a blessing. But it is always sad when a kid dies. You always hold out some hope that they will get better. It was kind of a surprise because most of us didn't realize she was so sick and we were still trying to treat all her issues. But at least she is in no longer suffering.
Other than that it has been good. I got to hold a baby today so it was a good day!! Tomorrow I will be getting all the syllabi and notes for the classes. Then on Monday all the stress starts!! I'm excited though, this is what I've been waiting for and working towards for a very long time.

On the Wards

2005-08-11T19:37:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that I have not posted in a few days; it's taken me a while to get my thoughts together about my first days on the ward as a med student. I got the pediatric rotation in general peds, meaning we have kids with all kinds of problems, some that are quite critical. The first day was more orientation, not very fun, pretty boring, and basically we were told the same thing as the other days of orientation except in summary form. The second day was better, we actually were on the wards but we didn't see any patients because we spent the whole morning doing rounds, which we did in a small conference room and not in the patients rooms. So that was a bit of a bummer because I was really looking forward to seeing some kids, maybe even holding a baby. The second day, yesterday, we did rounds outside of the rooms, but still did not see any kids at this time. However, I stayed until 9:00 pm in order to see some more stuff. I got to hear 3 bad heart murmurs (the sound the heart makes when it has a defect and is not pushing blood through efficiently). I also saw a goiter (overgrown thyroid) and a kid with cerebral palsy. It was really interesting and fun to play with the kids, even if they were really sick. I basically followed a third year around and she took time to explain things to me and show me how to listen to the heart of an infant. I went home last night exhausted, but energized and excited to start learning. One thing that I learned was I will have to do on-call (all night) shifts as a med student in my third and fourth years. I thought I wouldn't have to endure that torture until I was a resident but I guess I was wrong!!! Oh well, I know I will learn a lot. For now I am glad I get to see what I will be doing in a few years.

Pictures from White Coat Ceremony

2005-08-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

Oh My, I'm Almost a Doctor!

2005-08-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had our white coat ceremony. They told us that we need to embrace the fact that we are doctors. That when people see the white coat they will assume we are doctors and ask us for help. This is a frightening concept! I don't know anything yet, please don't ask me questions. We received our white coats yesterday in a ceremony that our parents were invited to. This ceremony, along with orientation the last few days, made it very real to me. I think I have been so excited about getting in that I haven't really thought about the fact that I will be a doctor soon! In charge of real patient's lives!
Throughout orientation they have talked about how hard the first two years are going to be. (The first two years are mostly spent in the classroom and pathology lab.) I am really scared. I know I will do well, and make it thru, but I haven't really thought about all the memorizing and studying I will have to do. In the beginning I will probably study 5-6 hrs a day. Then once I get used to it I will probably do about 3-4. That is a lot of studying!! But I've met some really cool and nice people so far that I know will help me. So be prepared to hear me complaining a lot about how much studying I have to do and how overwhelming Med School is!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Official

2005-08-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I am officially a Medical Student. Not because I am registered for classes, or because I have all my financial aid and have paid my bill, or bought my books or because I have an ID card. I am now officially a Med Student because I have my Stethoscope!! It is Burgundy and beautiful. I can't help but get sentimental over the one device I will be using the most for the rest of my career!!

My Personality Type

2005-08-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

Those who have taken these personality tests before will know a little more what I'm talking about. I am an INFJ, introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging (not like judgmental, more like planning everything out). We took the test at my first day of orientation for med school. First we had to say what we thought we were, then we took the test. I tested exactly the same as I guessed. I guess I know myself pretty well, or I am able to trick myself really well!! Supposedly my type make good Psychiatrists. I don't want to be a psychiatrist, so I hope my type makes good pediatricians as well. According to the test I am an idealist, always wanting to help others and myself grow and wanting to find the authenticity in myself and others. I do think this fits pretty well, as long as I can get over my social anxiety and introvertedness and actually get to know people. I met a few people today, but I think I spent most of the time sitting in my seat waiting for the professor to start talking again. Oh well, I know I will eventually make friends, I always have.
As I was looking around the room I was thinking "These are the people I will be going through med school with, studying with, venting with, crying with, and sharing one of the most difficult times of my life with. They seem like pretty nice people." Most of the people I met today were seventh day adventist (I go to a seventh day adventist med school) and unmarried. I was surprised that many of them are not right out of college, I kind of told myself I would be unique in being out of college for two years, but this seems not to be the case. There seemed to be a lot more guys than girls today, but I'll see more of the ratio tomorrow since today was optional. Anyways, these are my observations of my first day of med school. I'm really looking forward to starting!!

My Last Free Day!!

2005-08-02T11:05:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my last day of summer. Tomorrow I start orientation, then two weeks in the hospital, then classes. I really can't believe that I will be starting Medical School tomorrow!! I have been waiting so long for this moment, and it is finally here. I haven't fully grasped the concept that I will not have as much free time as I am used to. I'm going to have to learn how to study again. It will be hard, but also fun.
I finally got the rest of my books. While I was at the bookstore, I saw someone who looked familiar. It turns out I tutored her in college. She just graduated and is now going to LLU as well. I am so glad that I am going to know someone! I was worried about meeting people, but now it doesn't seem as intimidating since I at least know someone else's name. It was fun to talk to her about starting and I'm glad I will have someone to sit next to tomorrow! I'll write again tomorrow after my first day. Wish me luck!!!

Ward Experience

2005-07-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

I have just found out what I will be doing my first two weeks of school. All I knew before was I will be spending the first two weeks in the hospital from 8-5. This "ward experience" is pretty unusual in med schools, a lot of students don't have patient contact until their third year. So I have been excited about seeing patients up front. But I was wondering what on earth we would be doing since we don't know anything yet! Well, we will be paired with third year med students in one of seven areas. We got to rank the areas, so hopefully I get one of my top three. Obviously I ranked Pediatrics as number 1, then emergency med, neurology, psychiatry, internal med, ob/gyn, and lastly surgery. I'm not sure when I will find out which one I get, but I know it will be an amazing experience regardless!!

My Wonderful Husband

2005-07-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

Now that I have figured out how to change my links, I want to tell you all about my husband's blog, Don't ask me, I'm only a pastor. He will mostly be blogging about being a pastor and his second favorite passion, video games. So, check it out!!

Harry Potter At Last!!

2005-07-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am one of those people who read Harry Potter and become totally engrossed in it. I have just started reading the new book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and I have to force myself to put it down!! I don't like to read them too fast because I like to make the experience last as long as I can, but I just want to keep reading. It is very good so far. I have also found a very good website published by J.K. Rowling herself. In it she talks about rumors, discloses info on characters that she hasn't been able to put in the books etc. It is very fascinating for the Harry Potter fanatic. See J.K Rowling's site
I just hope this book isn't as sad as the last one; my favorite character other than Harry died in the last one. So I highly recommend that if you havn't read any of the books, start!!

All Growned Up

2005-07-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

I am very scared that I am now grown up. My mom got me a very nice suit for my birthday and I LOVE it. It wasn't that long ago that I still enjoyed getting toys for my birthday, now I enjoy getting business suits. Okay, so I was older than most when I stopped getting toys, not including Barbie's since I collect them, but still it only seems like yesterday that I was a kid. I am very excited to grow up, but at the same time I'm terrified. Responsibility, financial debt, marriage . . . all these things come with being grown up. My husband just started a job as a pastor and he preached at our new church on Sunday. I am a Pastor's wife!!! That I think is the scariest thing. I love the church, but it is so weird to thing that my husband is one of the pastors. Anyways, I guess I just need to embrace adulthood but I can't help but wish on occasion that I could still be 8 yrs old.

My New Favorite Thing

2005-07-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

I am now the proud owner of an iPod mini. My wonderful husband got it for me for my birthday. My CD player on my car doesn't work, and it will cost me over $200 to get it fixed. I know, I could just buy a new one, but instead we decided I would get an iPod, then I won't get in accidents trying to change CDs and I can take it with me. Pretty soon I will have to make a pretty bad commute to and from school and I just have to have music!! I am sooooo excited to start filling it with songs!! I think I will mostly just convert my CDs and add them to it. Anyways, I never thought I would be one of those people to get an MP3 player, but then again I never thought I would be a blogger either!

The indifferent Age of 25

2005-07-14T22:45:00.000-07:00

Well, today was my 25th birthday!! I don't really feel any older, and I'm rather indifferent about being 25. When my older sister turned 25 she was all upset, refusing to let people mention her age and heaven forbid we call it "quarter of a century". However, I don't feel this way about 25. I still feel young and I know I have a lot of life a head of me still. I just don't really see the sense in being upset about your age, it's not like we can change it. So I say, go with the flow. I'm just happy that I am alive one more year, and relatively healthy. I hope I can keep this outlook as I get older and reach other "scary" ages, like 30, 40, 45 etc. Life is too short to obsess about things we can't change, like our age. So I would encourage all you hitting a significant age to just see the bright side, you are still alive!!

Loans, Books and other med school oddities

2005-07-13T22:33:00.000-07:00

So I finally got my loans approved today. I am now $48,000 in the hole!! After I pay all the school fees, I get 11,000 to live off. That should cover my credit card bills, car insurance and living money. It felt so weird accepting a loan for that much money, knowing I will be doing the exact same thing for 3 more years!!

I also opened some of my text books today. My favorite part of every semester in undergrad was getting my books. So it is no surprise that I have really enjoyed getting my books for med school too. I have already read a few of the entries in our big diagnostic text book. I am soooooo excited to start learning and seeing patients.

The weirdest question I have been getting from people lately is "Are you excited to start school." This may not sound very odd to you, but I never quite know how to answer this question. I am so excited that I have to stop myself from thinking about it because then I become obsessed and impatient to start. This is the one thing that I have been preparing for basically my whole life and it is finally almost here!! But with all my excitement also comes a lot of anxiety. What if I can't remember anything and don't know how to study after being out of school for 2 years? What if all the other students are better than me? What if I don't make any friends? What if my recent health problems prevent me from doing well? These are all questions that keep circulating through my mind. So, if you happen to ask me if I am excited to start school and I pause before answering or don't seem quite sincere, it is just because I really don't know if I am excited or scared out of my mind!!

Animal Crossing!!!

2005-07-12T23:28:00.000-07:00

Okay so I am totally obsessed with the Nintendo Gamecube game Animal Crossing. My friend Beth introduced me and since I am now living with my in-laws I have access to my nephew's Gamecube, so the first thing I did was go out and buy the game. It is sooooooo much fun!! You get to live in this little town of animals, although you are human, and they talk to you. You can buy things, sell things, fix up a house, catch bugs, go fishing, collect art and fossils and put it all in a museum. It is so totally addicting. You also get mail from the animals and you can send them mail to. The only bad thing, the game is on real time so it knows how long it has been since you have played, and your animal friends get mad if you don't talk to them for a few days. So luckily I have a husband who also loves it, so when I start school he can make sure the animals don't hate me! Anyways, I thought I would share my new love.

2005-07-12T11:16:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the primere of my first ever blog.
I first have to say, all the inspiration for this blog came from my blogging friend Beth, so thanks Beth, I hope I won't let you down. Second I want to say that I have created this blog for friends and family to keep in touch, but all are welcome to peer into my uninteresting life. I am going to start Med School in a month, so until then my life will be pretty boring. After then I may not have a lot of time to blog, but I'll try to post once a week at least. Pictures will follow, once I get my own computer up and running (I have recently moved back to California, otherwise known as the Promised Land, from Kansas City and I have just found out my monitor doesn't work, so for now I am using my in-laws computer.) So enjoy, and feel free to comment. Talk to you soon.