Motherhood

No matter how much people try to describe parenthood to a soon-to-be-parent it really means very little. You just have to experience it for yourself to fully understand it. It is joyful yet exhausting. I have never in my life had this little sleep for so many days in a row, yet I have tapped into some unknown source of energy and am still able to function. Being the parent of a newborn is hard work. They require everything from you, and especially since I am breastfeeding there is a lot of responsibility involved. I have never felt so emotional as I have the last few weeks. I did not have an emotional pregnancy, but I guess it all came out at once the week after the baby's birth. I think I cried at least once a day, mostly for no reason or for feelings of guilt that I was doing something wrong as a parent already. These crying spells have mostly stopped though, which I'm sure Steve is grateful for.

I was able to take all 6 of my exams last week, which I credit completely to God. There is no way I could have done it alone, and I know it was God who gave me the strength to get through it. I failed most of them, but only within a few points of passing so it will not be that hard to make up on the next tests. Now I am back attending lectures and it has been nice to hear all the support from my classmates. I miss Dietrich when I am gone, but I'm glad he can spend some alone time with daddy.