More to come

I've decided to start blogging again, mostly for myself. Much has happened in the last year which I need to process. So stay tuned

Internship

I'm not going to write a very long post on how my internship was. I'm only going to say that it had its ups and downs, I'm glad its over, and I really enjoyed it. Overall I love my job and have no doubt that this is what I was made to do. I didn't kill anyone (that I know of) and helped many people through their diseases. I am becoming more comfortable being called Dr. and am always amazed that people actually consider ME their primary doctor. This next year will have a lot less overnight call and some fun electives. I also get to experience my first block of preventive medicine, something we don't get to do a lot of in the first year but spend increasingly more time in as we move through residency. I think Dietrich and Steve have survived being an intern's widower and orphan :)

Losing a Patient

Losing a patient is never easy, even if you only talked to them or saw them once. As a medical student I usually don't get very close to my patients. So the ones who have died have been sad but have not impacted me all that much. However, this last March I was on an inpatient medicine rotation and I encountered a patient that left a mark on my heart.

This patient was in the process of being worked up for possible metastatic cancer when she was admitted to the hospital. The ultrasound and CT scan looked suspicious for cancer, but we could not be certain. We spent the next two weeks fluctuating between trying to get the specialists to make a diagnosis and trying to keep her out of the ICU. One day she would be doing okay, awake and able to converse. The next day she would be drowsy, confused and disoriented. She went into kidney failure numerous times. Finally she was transferred to another hospital and I was no longer able to see her everyday. I got to know the family quite well and cared deeply for them. Some family members even attended our church on a Sunday that Steve was preaching. In the end she became comatose and the family decided to withdraw life support. I found this out by calling the ICU at the other hospital, I had planned on going by to visit her later that day.

I really felt that this patient was under my care. I look back on those two weeks at the end of her life and wonder what we, as physicians, could have done to make her time more pleasant or even to extend her time with us. I don't think there really is anything more we could have done, the cancer, of which I still don't know what type, would most likely have taken her life in the end anyways. But I can't help but wonder, what if we had been able to get her home for a few days? Did we control her pain? Did she die in pain wondering why no one would help her? These questions will forever haunt me with no answer.

I will always remember this experience and hopefully it has in some way prepared me for what I will encounter in the future.

The Match

Match day (the one day where everyone applying to US residencies find out where they have been accepted) was March 19th. It was a nerve racking week as I went through varies scenarios in my head of where I had matched. That morning my mom, Steve and Dietrich were all present as I opened the envelope. I was so overwhelmed with happiness when I saw I got my first choice that I starting crying. It was a very happy day for me and my friends and we went to Disneyland to celebrate. (pictures to follow)
I was accepted the a combined Family and Preventive Medicine residency at Loma Linda. This residency was created 3 years ago with missionary doctors in mind. I will be double board certified in family and preventive medicine and will get my Masters of Public Health. I have the option of getting the MPH in global medicine, which will be very helpful on the mission field. I am very excited about starting residency on June 30th, but I am also scared. It will mean many 80 hr work weeks and many nights spent away from Steve and Dietrich. But I am so excited to be an MD, able to have my own patients and write my own orders and prescriptions. All the hard work and dedication is going to finally pay off. Graduation is just around the corner on May 24th and can hardly wait to be done!

Hurry up and wait

The whole process of applying to residency consists of hurrying up and waiting. First we have to complete the application, then wait for interviews, then interview, then wait for the rank list to open, then complete the rank list (my top choices for residencies) then wait for THE MATCH (March 19). Then pretend to still be interested in whatever rotation I am currently on after the match when all I can think of is graduation on May 24th.

Each step of the way has had it's worries, joys and frustrations. I will be glad when the process is over, but I think I've learned a lot about myself. I'm very happy to be going into a specialty that cares for all of a patient's problems and I am excited to be someone's "doctor".

More to follow when I find out where I will be for the next 3-4 years!

Fourth Year of Medical School

Everyone said that the fourth year of med school was the best. I agree! I am currently enjoying 4 weeks of vacation. I have taken some interesting electives like palliative medicine and preventive medicine. I have finally caught up on sleep. I actually have time to take Dietrich to school in the morning and pick him up before the school closes. And I have started reading non medical related books. I know this world will not last forever but I am really enjoying it!

Almost Done

Just a quick post to say that I have one week left before I am officially a fourth year medical student!! I really can't believe I made it through this difficult year, and I'm really looking forward to next year and all the vacation time I will have (12 weeks, in comparison to this year which was only 2 weeks). Finally there is starting to be an end in site! Until I can get back here to post more about how this year has gone, enjoy some recent pics of Dietrich.